Ah, the terrible twos! What fun. Seriously though, they aren’t that bad if you know a few tricks – one of them is signing. With signs and body language a toddler can be quickly calmed. A screaming parents throwing their own tantrum and carrying on only fans the flame. More parent screams, more toddler screams, more toddler stomping, more parent stomping. Is there any wonder why kids become terrible, when parents are seen carrying on like little children themselves.
Instead of allowing your child to dictate your emotional state, instantly detach yourself from the situation. Your child isn’t acting up because of you, he’s acting up because some need or want isn’t being met. Get down to your child’s level and tell him or her to STOP (sign this) and be calm. Don’t say anything but this for now. Tug on your child’s hand to anchor to him – one quick, sharp, light jerk. That’s it. Now have your child take a few deep breaths. Show him how it’s done. Tell him not to get frustrated and that you want to know what’s bothering him. Ask your child to use his words, signs or combination of the two to describe his want or need as best possible. Hear your child out and don’t interrupt him, unless you can’t understand what he’s saying. Mirror back what your child says in the form of a clear sentence in question form. If your child is not as clear as you think he’s able to be then add some extra words to help him along.
In most cases you already know what your child wants, but this isn’t the point. You want your child to practice voicing himself constructively instead of throwing tantrums or whining. Also, just because something’s been asked of you does not mean you need to follow through with it. If it’s inappropriate, explain why. If you’ll do it, but later, then explain this too, and then absolutely follow through without having to be asked again. If it’s reasonable, then go ahead and do it without much hesitation or tell your child to wait a few minutes and you’ll get right to it.
If you repeat this process early on and stay consistent your child’s tantrums will severely weaken.