There’s no end in sight and it’s not easy!  It’s a world’s hidden secret that parenthood is so difficult.  Yes, people do try to explain this to you beforehand, even warn you about teen pregnancy and such so you don’t prematurely have babies, but seriously, parenthood is absolutely relentless and life-changing.

I had my doubts about parenthood being such a change and would comment on this while observing my friends who had children.  I would wonder where their time would go to and why they could no longer get out to go fishing or play sports.  I figured it was more to do with their wives.  To some degree is was, and due to lifestyle choices and management, but even if you strip all that away and become super efficient with ideal children, they’ll still zap you of time and energy.

As I work through, I’m always looking for breaks for reasons of sanity, and I’m not one to give up or complain so this often goes unseen by others.  Giving up might include hiring a babysitter and going back to work full-time or maybe being lesser of a father.  Maybe skip out on trips to the park, reading books, playing cars or learning more signs, but to me this spells failure and not something in my vocabulary.

So for now, I’m resolved in the fact that my life is temporarily on hold.  While it was never all that exciting, it did involve far more “me-time” where I could reflect on what I was doing and come and go as I pleased.  I guess that’s really the only part I miss, for I do appreciate the company and friendship I get from my new boy.  In a perfect world, I guess I’d have a son born ready to hang out and then no as the case might be.  Where we could spend time together and also apart in perfect balance -this will come I’m told, but it’ll be in an entirely different context.  Namely, when my son turns 18 – and then they’ll be girls and highschool parties and then careers and school away from home.  So I guess that’s not really ideal either.

In the end, we should all strive to make our lives as best possible given outer constraints.  We should never rush to some end point or wish life away as what we have is pretty much it – it’s the present that we need to enjoy.  So while baby turns whining toddler and then into demanding child, enjoy all of it as it comes, and wish nothing further lest you be permanently disappointed.

I’m learning to do just that and while I’ll probably never truly get there, that’s probably part of the point.  Life is a continuous learning experience – and parenthood offers lots of schooling!

No, not the bad baby smell, the good one.  I remember the day it stopped, right around his first birthday and the reason I remember it is because that was the last days my wife was breastfeeding.  It’s that sweet smelling odor that bonds a child to his parents, it’s unmistakable.  At first my wife didn’t notice, but after pointing it out, she too had to admit that he lost his baby smell.

Smell, like sign language, is a form of silent communication and carries meaning.  While we don’t pay much attention to it directly, it often has a profound influence on us at a subconscious level.  Non-signing parents often say that they don’t need signing because they understand exactly what their child is saying – but what they might not admit is that they’re just reading their child’s body language.  But in it’s basic form this is just another form of signing.  Sign language is much more productive and specific though and takes out the guesswork making your life simpler.

Having lost the baby smell, you’ll be happy to know that your child still puts out an odor signature and spending time close to your child will still bond you and he together.  Putting your baby on your lap and reading books is a great way for you and your baby to share silent messages through olfactory means.  While you might not be as close as you are through breastfeeding, you’ll still share many intimate times together as your relationship progresses.  Be forward looking and live in the moment and you’ll enjoy each on of them.