Avoid Competing With Other Children – Baby Sign Language Is Not A Competition ~ Chris

It always surprises me that we think so locally when we compete.  While the world carries billions of people, most of which we’ll never meet (and arguably don’t really care about), we decide it’s fit to challenge the others whom we’re close to such as our “friends” and family.  Why do we do this?  Why do we insist on comparing ourselves to the people we know and care about in a way that actually ends up damaging our relationships?

It’s beyond me, but I think we’d do so much better and be so much more constructive with our lives if we didn’t bother competing so much, especially in areas that don’t really matter.  How far advanced your sisters son is, is totally irrelevant.  Is your kid smarter than your neighbours?  Who cares!  In the long run, your kid and your sister’s kid are probably someplace around the median.  It will do you no good to constantly compare the number of signs and the sign clarity to people you know.

As I’ve said many, many times, signing is meant to be fun and meant to connect with your baby.  Can this be turned into some kind of race?  Of course it can – my connection with my kid is stronger than your connection!  How stupid and lame!  Grow up a bit and learn that there’s more to life than such childish pursuits.  The fact is that there is a huge spectrum of abilities and an early start in life is no guarantee of future success.  You can bank on that – just do a survey of the most successful people you know.  How well did they do in school?  Did they sign when they were a kid.  Not likely, and yet, still they fit into society just fine, got a job, married and all the other good stuff.

Just enjoy the time you get to spend with your baby when they’re young.  Soon enough there will be much bigger and more important things to worry about!

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Using The Largest Encyclopedia Ever ~ Chris

What a wonderful era of information our children have the privilege of growing up in.  True, it has its drawbacks, however, one benefit it does have, is that after hitting just a few keys we can quickly gain access to whatever information we desire.  Why not put this to good use?

When signs are learned, they should be taught in as many varied contexts as possible.  This grows your baby’s comprehension and solidifies their memories.  This is easily done with animal signs.  Just type the name of the animal into any popular search tool along with the key word “images” or “photos” and you’ll instantly get thousands of images of whatever it is you want.  Next, try searching for videos on the same subject matter.  Quickly compile these hits into a kid friendly folder in your favourites toolbar for review later.  Have your baby view the images alongside you.  Flip from one to another and back again doing the sign for each.  Eventually, you’ll find that baby requests certain images by sign.  My son’s favourite (for a time) was a collage of images set in a downward column.  He’d ask to see the image of the MOON by singing it, then would want to see MONKEY.  We’d switch back and forth dozens of times over weeks and he’d never bore.  When he wanted to see them again, he’d come over to my desk and ask.  He also came to love a video of a bullFROG and he would ask for this too.  It was complete with sound, which really made the lesson that much more memorable.

You can teach this way for almost any sign – there really are no exceptions that I can think of.  Try teaching WATER by finding images of lakes and then videos of rivers.  Next, find images or video of salmon jumping upstream and teach FISH and also WATER.  You can go on for days like this!  For this reason, I highly recommend that you listen to your baby and discover what it is they are interested in and focus on these.

If you worry that baby will go on end about these, don’t worry, they eventually do move onto the next thing.  Trust me!

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Teaching Manners ~ Chris

If manners are important to you and your family, than signing is a must.  Manners can be taught as a habit and begin as early as you can teach signs.  If you want your young toddler to use them, then just incorporate them as part of your early signing program and they’ll soon become part of your baby’s vocabulary.  As far as they are concerned, it will just be something they’ve done.  Besides it’s nice to get random THANK YOU’s here and there and PLEASE when grandma is around to show just how well you are doing as a parent.

I wouldn’t recommend that manners be the very first words a baby learns, but certainly they should follow the words which are most important to your baby.  MILK, EAT, MORE are the signs you probably want to start with since they matter to your baby – they have currency and are likely to be learned quickly.  Manners on the other hand, have currency to you and will come with time.  When teaching manners, you always want to lead by example.  If your baby sees you use manners, they will too – but if you don’t then neither will they, unless asked.  This isn’t to say that manners don’t first begin through prompting, because they do, it’s just that to have them continue, you need to be polite too.  When making requests of baby, don’t hesitate to add PLEASE and THANK YOU even if your requests aren’t optional.  That doesn’t mean you have to beg, it just means that you shouldn’t be rude.  If baby still doesn’t cooperate than use a more physical approach by completing the task by moving their body however it is you wish.  Children are excellent at copying what they see, so if you’re rude and demanding and show no courtesy for their desires, then neither will they, to yours.  However unfortunate this is, it’s just how things work – at least how I see it.

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The Most Common Objection ~ Chris

After you’ve come across enough people, you’ll come to hear the main objection to teaching a baby to sign.

“Won’t teaching your baby delay speaking?”

I’ve heard this many times and from many different people.  My answer is always the same.  Does crawling inhibit walking?  The answer of course is no.  Both are milestones and both assist a baby in their development.  Whether or not a baby learns proper signing, he or she will still sign.  They’ll pick up our body language signals such as waving bye, pointing to draw attention, clapping to show appreciation and excitement, shaking the head for no, and nodding for yes, stomping to show frustration and so forth.  Later in life your toddler will even start using their hands to help them describe things.  If you live in a country who use gesticulation prominently, they’ll adopt these signs even sooner.

The fact remains that our hands likely played a key role in communication throughout our ancestry.  Before our vocal cords and voice boxes were attuned to speaking, we likely used grunts, screams, and so forth to express ourselves.  While we’ve come a long way from primitive emotional communication, our hands still form a rudimentary means of expression.  So while babies can’t yet talk, we might as well facilitate their hands to carry the load in the meantime.  Besides, if we don’t refine a babies nonverbal skills, they’ll be far less meaningful and clear to the world.  Keep in mind, ASL (or whatever official sign language you choose) is universal to other caregivers too!

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Guiding Babies With Their Hands ~ Chris

Some parents do well with this sign technique, while others will not.  I’m one of the ones who does very well at this, but it’s probably because my wife and I are touchy-feely with my son.  We use touch a lot to show him our affection and closeness, when modifying his behaviour, and when communicating with him.  Touch is an entirely different component to silent communication, and is a very effective one at that – once you learn the rules of course.

Putting your ‘grease paws’ on a baby and trying to force them to do something is NOT the idea – signing is meant to be fun.  When a baby is throwing a tantrum it’s time for a hands off approach so long as they aren’t damaging property hurting themselves or someone else (or potentially going to).  Let them cool off on their own!  Obviously there are times to jump in and restraint an infant, but there are also times when touching is off limits.  Just keep in mind that you are trying teach your baby how to become self proficient, control themselves and live with their emotions.  You don’t want to have to be there all the time to protect them and the people around them.  As far as a parenting technique, guiding can work wonders.

When baby is in a place they shouldn’t be, like near the garbage can or toilet, I like to turn a toddlers shoulders and aim them in another direction while telling them why they should be there such as “danger”, HURT or DIRTY.  The first time you do this, it won’t work.  They’ll turn back and head straight back to where they were.  Just guide them again as lightly as possible.  You’ll usually get some resistance this time, so just apply more pressure.  Keep repeating it and then, if you must, close the door or block them from returning to show them that you mean business and that you always win.  After repeating this enough times with persistence, making sure you never lose the battle, you’ll ideally have a toddler who will require less and less guiding each and every time.  You never want to use full pressure each time to guide a baby, just enough to get the job done.  In fact, you really want them to do all the work after using a few verbal or sign language commands, but at the start, do whatever is necessary.  Always remain calm though, never show aggression, and never show frustration.  Remember that you’re always the boss.  Eventually you’ll be able to use just your words to guide them so long as you avoid power struggles.  Do also keep in mind that every baby is different so not all will accept light guiding without setting off a huge power struggle.  In these cases, just learn to live with it by keeping garbage out of reach, doors closed and cupboard doors childproofed.  Sometimes you just need to pick your battles.

The same sort of concept apply to guiding in sign language.  Just grab their hands and go through the sign with them either facing them or from behind.  Again, not all babies like this hands on approach.  Some are just downright unwilling to accept input in this way from other people so just give it a shot and see how it goes.  It also never hurts to ask a baby if they will let you help.  My son, at around 14-15 months, would offer his hands to me when I asked to show me that he would accept help on a difficult sign.  I would then help him do the sign and let him try on his own.  We would repeat this a few times and eventually he would get a fairly good approximation going.  Again, I will warn that if you baby shows resistance to guiding as far as signing goes, then just model the sign for them instead.  Signing is not a life and death matter so if he doesn’t get it, no big deal.  Save the hands on approach for when he’s off toward something more pressing.

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